Goals – we have a love-hate relationship with goals. We love them because they are such a great idea and are a superb way to motivate us to achieve and then to evaluate our progress; but we hate them, because for much of the time, they go unattained and simply frustrate us. This isn’t what goals should do! Having been a Transformational Coach for many years now I would like to suggest some straightforward and practical techniques on how you can set goals you can achieve! After all, what good is a goal if it isn’t something you can achieve? • Transformational Coach tip no 1 - You have to want it! First - do not bother to set goals for things you don’t really want. For example: if your partner says they want you to lose weight but you do not want to, why even bother setting this as a goal. If your goal(s) are not something you personally want to accomplish, and they are not relevant to you, you are unlikely to succeed – because deep down you don’t really want to. State your goals in a positive way – a goal should always be something you want to have, or change. Not things you or someone else think you should. Always ask yourself on a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being totally committed and 1 being zero commitment. How committed are you to reaching your goal? If it is less than 8, you might want to reconsider the goal. • Transformational Coach tip no 2 - Focus Start small. Pick two or three areas that you want to work on. Too many people say to themselves, “I want to do this, and this, and this, and this……” and they end up achieving nothing! Most of what you do throughout your day can be done without a lot of mental effort, but change isn’t one of them. So try to keep your focus down to a couple of things. This way you can get success in your identified areas. Here are some aspects of your life you might like to think about: Physical, Intellectual, Emotional, Spiritual, Financial, and Relationships. Now, which is the first thing on your list? The others can follow later, but for now, you should focus on two or three, no more. • Transformational Coach tip no 3 - Goals - the long and the short So you want to lose 50 pounds? Good. Long-term you will. But for now, think short-term. Don’t think about losing 50 pounds by February. Think about losing 10 pounds by March 1st. This does two things. First, it makes it pressing and urgent. Instead of saying, “I still have 6 months to lose the 50 pounds” (6 months quickly disappears into 2 months, into one month – with the 50 pounds still securely in place!) your first goal is only a few weeks away, so you have to get started. This is far more successful in terms of reaching your goal. Secondly, as you reach these smaller goals (your mini-milestones!), you achieve a success, which gives you regular motivation and encouragement to keep going. • Transformational Coach tip no 4 - Make it manageable Instead of saying, "I am going to quit my 20 smoking a day habit straight off" change this to: "I am going to smoke no more than 15 a day for a week, then 10 the next week and so on." Give yourself small victories a little at a time. It is far easier to accomplish many smaller goals that make up a large goal – rather than trying for the large goal straight off! • Transformational Coach tip no 5 - Reward yourself along the way When you lose the 10 pounds by March 1st, go and order yourself large mocha with cream from your favorite coffee show (just one though!), then get back to your goal. This puts a little fun back into the process of self-control and self-discipline. You will look forward to and enjoy the reward and when the going gets tough, you will say things like, “two weeks to go, and only two more pounds to lose” etc – I can do it, then I can enjoy my mocha guilt free! • Transformational Coach tip no 6 - Be specific with your timeline Don't just say, "I am going to lose 10 pounds." Say, "I am going to lose 10 pounds by March 1st." This way, when you start being tempted into Thornton’s Chocolates in the middle of February - under the guise of buying early Valentine's presents for other people, you can say, "No way, only 5 more pounds to go in three weeks and I am not going to blow it now." That's how you build resilience and self-discipline. • Transformational Coach tip no 7 - Post it where you can see it Keep your goal in the front of your mind at all times. Instead of allowing yourself to ‘forget’ that you are trying to lose weight by ordering a big slice of cheesecake, your visual reminder will help you to choose something a little on the lighter side but at the same time keeping on track – having your cake and eating it! This will help you beat your desire and stay focused. Post your goal anywhere you will see it regularly, like maybe the fridge or a mirror, on your wardrobe door – you know where is best, you must be able to see it regularly throughout the day. • Transformational Coach tip no 8 - Encourage, respect, and accountability Explain to a friend or family member what your goal is, including the timeframe, so they can help you with it. This person should regularly ask you, how you are doing etc? They should hold you accountable, but at the same time keep you motivated and encouraged. Obviously they must be the encouraging type! (If not, ask someone else who is) If you are blowing it, they can tell you so, but at the same time gee you up and say things like “Well, that's okay, it’s done now, don’t sweat it, just get back to it tomorrow." If you are doing well, they can say, "excellent, well done etc” and make you feel great. • Transformational Coach tip no 9 - Write (and then reap) the benefits If you are trying to lose weight your benefits might look something like this: Feel better, better self-esteem, longer life, clothes are more comfortable, a bigger choice of clothes to shop, your partner says you look amazing, you love and respect yourself and so on. For quitting smoking, it may look like this: Fresher breath, no more brown fingers, less wrinkles on my face, no more red eyes, no more smelly clothes, and longer life! By making a list you will be able to you see what you will benefit from accomplishing your goal. Again it is a good idea once you have thought of these benefits to write them down with your goal (On the fridge, mirror etc) so that when you review your goal everyday, you’ll also see the benefits to achieving it. • Transformational Coach tip no 10 - You have succeeded – reward yourself! This can be anything – large or small. If you dropped the fifty pounds, really treat yourself, plan to go out and buy yourself that dress you have always longed for – and then wear it with pride. Make a deal with a partner or friend that if you reach your goal they will take you out for a meal or and spoil you. Whatever it is you plan, make it personal, enjoyable and desirable to you, so you will look forward to it. Do not miss this part out – it is one of the most important bits. It will help to keep you motivated when you’re struggling and give you something enjoyable to aim for. Make sure you reward yourself for all your hard work!
Remember my friends – goals aren’t just for footballers! They are for us real people too!
We can achieve our goals and enjoy an amazing life if we plan goals the right way.
If you haven't planned your goals consider joining me next Tuesday, Dec 27 at 7pm Eastern Time. See you then.
GOALS: Let's Plan Your Best Year Ever - 2-hours LIVE ZOOM EVENT on Tuesday, Dec 27 at 7PM Eastern Time. Learn more and Book below.
This is what we are going to accomplish together on Tuesday:
1. Create a vision for what you want your year to look like so you can set yourself up for incredible success in 2023
2. Identify the "gaps" between your current life and your desired reality, so you can understand what you need to do to take your life to where you want to be
3. Choose key goals for the next three months and get clear on the steps you'll have to take to achieve those goals
4. Discover an inspiring blueprint for the next year that will make it easier for you to experience more joy, and fulfillment in everything you do while making huge progress creating your ideal life.